Waving Good By

Dear Family,
I have had it!
There is only so much abuse one can suffer and I have finally had enough.
For years I have made your meals when you were too lazy to cook them. I have filled your kitchen with lovely smells and even kept your rice-filled heating pad tosty for your aches and pains; yet you continue to mis treat me. You rarely if ever clean me, and several times you have even slammed my door harder than necessary for no reason at all. But what scares me the most are the children.
They have no respect for me, they take even less interest in cleaning me than anyone else and I am afraid they are trying to kill me. Just last week Tommy started a fire by trying to heat up tin foil, and Sasha tried to blow me up with marsh mallows. Do you not teach these children anything? Even little Jill Who tried to make paint by heating up her crayons—yes that is where those stains came from by the way--has it out for me.
I have tried and tried to let you know of my unhappiness, but you all seem oblivious. I have tried unplugging myself, I have tried over heating your food until it is too hard or rubbery for consumption, I have even tried loudly beeping more times than is necessary for letting you know that your food is done, But you did not seem to hear my anger. You merely became annoyed and impatient. So I have decided to leave you.
I am frightened of your children and their fascination with fire and explosions, I am tired of being left unclean and having you complain about my odor, and I think that it is time you stopped being lazy and reacquainted yourselves with the stove. Yes, it is larger and higher maintenance than I am, but you should have thought of that before you mistreated me.
Sincerely,
The Microwave